my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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