he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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