I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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