I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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