she looked like the bat from fern gully.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
