That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
