R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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