Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
