ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
