I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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