Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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