It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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