Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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