nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
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you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
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THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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