Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
