oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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