Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
