I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
