was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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