He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
