just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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