Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
