The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
