Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
