i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
