I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize