why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
