i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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