I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
