you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize