I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
