Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
