I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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