i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
