grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
