it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
