Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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