hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
