Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
