Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize