she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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