Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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