just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
