Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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