drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
