He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
