with your own penis?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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