# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
