the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
