I'm going to jail i love you
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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