My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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