my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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