Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Damn victory sex feels great
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
