bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
