Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
