return my video game
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
