Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
