im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
