They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He shit in the fireplace
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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