My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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