I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
