Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
