Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I died a long time ago.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
